Sanubis Oneshots
by spacemuffins
Summary: Every single weird, hilarious, and hopefully un-cliche Sanubis one-shot that I can churn out of my brain!  My goal is 10 plus one-shots.  Still in progress, and rated K plus, might become T.  Sadie/Anubis.  CHAPTER 4 IS UP!
1. XOXOXO

**I'm writing up a storm here! *creepy laughter***

**I just thought that if there's a fanfic called **_**OneShots of Zarter**_** (by the amazing I'mDifferent-GetOverIt), there should be one for Sanubis too. So here we go!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters except for any possible OCs (as OOC as they seem in this fanfic).**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: XOXOXO<strong>

**S**

**A**

**D**

**I**

**E**

"Has civilization gotten to the point where games are no longer played?" Anubis asked. We were at a graveyard, with not much to do (though I enjoyed staring at him).

"No! Of course not; we have…"

"What? What games do you play?"

"We have Xboxes and Wiis," I racked my brain for more.

He gave me a puzzled look. "What? Is that something we could play?"

"No, not _here_… Never mind," I sighed. "We could play tic-tac-toe." It was the only game I could come up with.

"Explain."

"It's a game my mates and I used to play when we were bored." I fetched a piece of paper and a pencil from the Duat.

"Why do you need—"

I drew a three-by-three grid on the paper. "I call 'X'. You're 'O'."

"Fair enough," he shrugged. "Who goes first?"

"Me. I'm 'X'."

"Shouldn't I go first? It _is _my first time playing this game."

I glared at him. "What difference does it make?"

"My point is that there's _no _difference, which is why I should go first."

"Fine! We take turns drawing our symbol on the grid. First person to get three in a row wins—diagonal, horizontal, or vertical."

He grinned, as if I had just told him to do the easiest thing in the world. "Sure." He glanced at the grid. Hastily, he drew an 'O' on the upper left corner of the grid.

I drew an 'X' in the center. Every _experienced _player knew to go for the center first. This time I grinned. Smugly, I said, "_Your _turn, Anubis."

He returned the grin, and silently put another 'O' on the lower right corner.

We continued playing for the next minute. Finally, all of the squares were covered. "Tie," I grumbled, annoyed that I couldn't win over someone who was playing for his first time.

Anubis leaned forward. "I need to tell you something," he whispered.

I did my best to glare at him, and pushed my hair behind my ear. "What?"

Suddenly, he kissed me. "I won," he whispered.

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><p><strong>Do you want me to continue? Loathe it? Review or Anubis'll start planning your funeral soon!<strong>

**I'm hoping to write at least 10 chapters (depending on the number of reviews I receive & how much 'inspiration' I get). Maybe more!**


	2. Magic Mishap

**And I now present…**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: Magic Mishap<strong>

**S**

**A**

**D**

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_Every door you enter, I will let you in_, Rihanna crooned from my CD player. I was painfully lying on my bed—the outcome of an Egyptian-magic mishap.

Then someone thought it was okay to barge into my room without knocking.

"Hello, Sadie."

I turned my head, and my heart nearly leapt out. Anubis. "Uh… hi… 'Knocking' is modern-day courtesy." I grimaced as best as I could.

He grinned slightly. Bowing, he said, "May I come in, _Lady Kane_?"

"Fine. But bowing is _so _last century. And learn to speak with a British accent."

"Anything for you, my lady," he replied using an exaggerated accent.

I rolled my eyes at him. Anubis was dressed in his funeral clothes, except it was as if he had absent-mindedly thrown on his clothes. His shirt sleeves were rolled up and his bow tie hung loosely around his neck.

And I must admit, he was quite gorgeous.

"Here to celebrate my funeral?" I eyed him suspiciously.

"Are you staring at me? Last time I checked, staring was impolite."

I tried to peel my eyes away.

Anubis sighed. "This shirt is my favorite. Maybe I should get a new one from the Duat sometime."

"Mine too."

"Sorry?"

"Never mind. Why are you here?" I asked, recalling the time Anubis told me about his inability to materialize outside of graveyards.

"I thought I could pay you a visit. Of course, if you don't want me around—" He spun around to face my door.

"I want you! No, no—I mean, don't go!"

"Say that again… please." An eyebrow was raised and a glint was in his brown eyes.

I clenched my teeth. "Don't go."

Anubis shook his head. "Still, how are you able to be here?" I wanted an answer.

"Lord Osiris gave me a new collar," he shrugged casually, trying not to smile.

"That's bloody unfair! You get to see me whenever you feel like it, and I—"

"What is it that humans say? 'Life's not fair'?"

"Yeah, there's another one: 'death is knocking on your door'. But apparently Death himself has no clue about _knocking_."

He sighed, in mock despair. "I've got to go now, Sadie." He pressed his lips to my forehead.

"Already?—" Before I could complain, he was out the door. An improvement, I thought, from his usual exit.

Then I realized that my wounds were healed. No more blood, no more aches. "Thanks, Anubis," I whispered.

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><p><strong>Thanks for all the reviews, guys! Till next chapter, then!<strong>


	3. Question?

**WARNING****: THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER CONTAINS EXTREME AMOUNTS OF OUT-OF-CHARACTER FLUFF. PLEASE SKIP TO THE NEXT CHAPTER IF CUTE FLUFF BURNS YOUR RETINAS.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: Question?<strong>

**S**

**A**

**D**

**I**

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"Anubis, do you think I'm pretty?" I decided to break the peaceful quiet in the graveyard with stupid questions.

He hesitated a bit after glancing at my neon and black clothes. "No," he finally muttered.

Blushing, I glared at him. Since when did Anubis forget his manners?

"Do you like me?"

"No," Anubis replied, barely concealing a smirk. He must have been taking Rudeness 101 with Carter.

Suddenly, the graveyard seemed much colder. I instinctively creeped closer to Anubis. He covered me with his jacket.

I plucked a grass from the ground. Then I asked one more question. It was much too mushy, but I honestly wanted to hear an answer. "If I left you, would you cry?"

Anubis stared at me, forcing me to look into his eyes. They seemed…more liquid than usual, like chocolate syrup. But there was that amused glint.

"No."

"You bloody…" I got up from the blindingly green grass, still wearing his jacket. What was he thinking? Whatever it was, I was ready to storm off.

Anubis came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Sadie… you are beautiful and I," he hesitated, "love you. If you left, I would die."

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><p><strong>Kinda fluffy, no? It's inspired by something I saw online. Anyways, I'm very sorry for being 1.) late and 2.) OOC.<strong>


	4. Sweeter than Chocolate

**For me, _The Serpent's Shadow_'s solution to the SAW (Sadie/Anubis/Walt) triangle was very… wrong. I fully expected it, but for the sake of my fanfiction (and sanity), Walt will remain NONEXISTENT.**

**Even so, I really liked writing this fanfic, so I'm going to continue it. I'm not sure if I can say the same for my others, but thanks for staying with me!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4: Sweeter than Chocolate<strong>

**S**

**A**

**D**

**I**

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"Hey, Anubis," I called at the rusty iron gate of a graveyard near the Brooklyn Mansion. Recently, I had been going quite frequently to meet a certain jackal-headed god.

"Hello, Sadie," he stood flashing a smile much too warm for his pale complexion and dark outfit.

"Sorry for calling you out at lunch," I reddened—partly because of the terrible timing, partly because of Anubis's perpetually perfect looks, and partly because of an interested passerby.

"Lunch? Oh, humans have meals during this time?" Anubis cocked his head in curiosity.

"Yeah," I replied, remembering that the black-haired boy was a god. Then I plopped down next to him, matting the already-ruined grass.

"Here," he held out a chocolate-filled bun.

"It's alright," I refused politely. "Where did you get that? I thought you didn't eat at noon…"

Anubis shrugged. "I just fished it out of the Duat. Are you sure you don't want it?"

After glancing at the tempting chocolate frosting for a few moments, hunger took over and I almost inhaled the bun.

"Uhm, thish ish really good!" I admitted. "Aren't you gonna have shome?"

He chuckled. "Sure," Anubis responded, grabbing my hand and licking the chocolate off of my fingers. "You're right, it is pretty good."

My face was warming up, but my fingers felt like they would be incinerated. "Ahh…" I shifted to hide my embarrassment.

"Don't move," Anubis's godly face was inches away and I noticed that his eyes were the same shade as the chocolate. "Stay still and let me eat," he whispered, taking my face in his cool hands and giving me a kiss.

"Mm. I think you taste even better."

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><p><strong>This is probably one of the oddest requests from an author to readers: please give me some suggestions on how to imitate Sadie's "voice" better and make characters less out of character. I haven't read the Kane Chronicles in a while, so while I appreciate all reviews, any suggestions are greatly appreciated! <strong>


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